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Star Trek  ][   Schism by ajaxtorbin
Star Trek ][ Schism
Opening Theme: soundcloud.com/ajax-torbin/sta…
Also: I you think I should work on this more, leave a note below.

Starting with most resent changes:

08/08/14 Basic grammer & slight adjustment of a couple paragraphs.

03/28/14 finally got Kayetan/S'ara conversation more in line. Added some random ideas to the unfinished sections. Touched up tone of many minor thoughts and conversations.

03/03/14 got some half-baked ideas typed out. Long term plot ideas shaping up and getting voice. Urge to call this story Schism making more sense. Been working mostly on fantasy novel, so updates in this likely to be slower.

03/01/14 Note to self: stop publishing half-finished sections! They only embarrass yourself.

02/26/14 Revamped and checked last few chapters. Basic adjustments of language for ease of flow. Heavy corrections made to end of third section chapter 11 [Kayetan/T'karra conversation].

02/22/14 Working with Jii sections, trying to make it less exposition heavy. Changed the layout of the bridge; switched OPS and engineering.

02/18/14 Reread POW camp sections. Changed name of captains daughter back to original S'ara because I decided to revert back to original reason for him not being involved in her early life.

02/16/14 Full read though. Adjusted tone of a few earlier conversations to align with new material.  Basic grammar corrections. Added Lallal exposition section. Added major Kayetan/T'karra exposition and romance lead-in. More klingon point of view needed.

02/15/14 Changed font size to be more inline with standard publishing [and ease of reading]. Expanded upon first POW camp sections. Exposition with Jii and Kayetan.

02/12/14 Changed all references to number of people in POW camp [increased]. Finally starting to figure out captain Jii subplots. Including more klingons than original. Still trying to figure out the exact foundation of the T'karra/Kayetan relationship. And finally worked in descriptions of POW cave network.

 

Things related:
Ship hull map: ajaxtorbin.deviantart.com/art/…
The USS Storm: ajaxtorbin.deviantart.com/art/…
ajaxtorbin.deviantart.com/art/…
ajaxtorbin.deviantart.com/art/…
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When not writing, I think about writing; specifically this time i think about my characters. I think they are the true engine of a good narrative. As such I often picture a character responding to various supposed questions. The result is often quotes and attitudes that I had not foreseen.
Sometimes a good quote can make the whole character come together.
Sometimes these quotes are useful even outside the arena of the plot.

I'll share some.


Do you know the most painful betrayal soldiers can suffer? It is when after the war is over and they are not invited to share the peace.

[enemy] "I have spent a thousand lifetimes learning a thousand ways to kill; does that frighten you?"
[hero] "No, for I have spent a single lifetime perfecting one."

Beware those with their mind only on the future or who read only of the past, the present may escape them. If you make the present a good place the future will see to itself and the past will be revealed.

Hate is the only four letter word that truly degrades the culture.

Swordplay is fun until someone takes it too seriously.

[JAG officer in star trek] "What do you think we are, the law offices of Boldy, Go & Howe?"

The ending is only a beginning that you haven't taken advantage of yet.

Politics: the art of the polite lie. I would wash my hands of it but even the soap is dirty.

Reading between the lines is an art. Writing the lines is a science.

But none of that matters now, the only thing that matters is that you are cold and I have been burning up all my life.

"I would cast aside all the burning suns and all their wealth for just one more moment here with you."
"And I would give you up only to let the stars burn for one more day."

When you expect the unexpected it will still not be what you expected, even though you were expecting something like it.

Well, I follow a different philosophy; survival of the sarcastic.

Legends are simply reality’s attempt to keep up with imagination.

Lightspeed is nothing, I want to see them break the rumor barrier.

I was never there, and I have the scars to prove it.

We sacrificed today for tomorrow.
We have burned ourselves and our worlds just to slow you down.
We would conquer paradise and burn it just to spite you.
You have not killed us; and that which does not kill us . . .

Those that live in the past are doomed to repeat it, and the moment may escape those with their mind on the future. If you make the present a good place, the future will see to itself and the past may be revealed.

Humans developed this multitude of weapon systems to fight amongst themselves; imagine what they would develop to fight us.
Warband Master Xonoth Kray

The Aiahsio?
I wish they were Elves. Tolkien is less mysterious and more direct.
Ambassador Robert Hemsworth

In the End all was Light, and a billion-billion voices cried, let there be darkness!
And it was so.
The nihilist bible
  • Mood: Content

deviantID

ajaxtorbin
Ajax
Artist
United States
Words. You can start wars with them, you can bring peace with them, make laughter or tears with them, or in my case, be really, really annoying. But that’s what I do, I annoy you about something to make you think on what you do.

If someone accidentally sticks their hand in a blender and turns it on, the first words out of my mouth will be, ‘nice move, retard’ in very sarcastic tone. I figure that you already know it hurts and you are not alright, so I don’t ask what everyone else does when they see an accident, ‘are you ok?’

But I digress. Words. They have meaning. There are, as I see it, two reasons to use a word; one is the exact meaning and the other is the feel or image it evokes when read or spoken aloud. Its like ‘red’ and ‘crimson’. Their meaning is basically the same but to most people who read, truly read the meaning of words they are quite different. So as you read these collected thoughts, warnings and ramblings, please Remember: I use the actual meaning of a word, not what you may think it means.

Also while it may not always be my intent to offend or debase, as a theoretically free human of earth and the United States I will offend when I so choose, whether with a gaseous expelling of offensive olfactory stimulus, or by using a taboo word, like shit. Or fuck. Or nigger. Yes that’s right the ‘N’ word. Gasp

Now if you’re reading this paragraph I know you not a moron, or you’re a racist. If you are a racist you minus well stop reading now because I’m not a fascist. I do not form lynch mobs, well, not for that reason. Now for those of you who are not morons you know that ‘nigger’ is a word. It is a series of sounds spoken in the English tongue, a sound that has acquired a stigmata. The same thing has happened to words like ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’. Thanks to our modern way of life and certain prohibitions against their use, ahem* FCC *ahem, they have become locked into the category of ‘bad word’ when normally they would have rotated out of use by now.

In the past the ‘bad word’ category held such modern stunners as; crap, damn, thigh, breast, and the scorcher, the end all to end alls, the permanently-banned-from-church-if-you-dare-utter-it-aloud word: humbug. Yes gentle-folk, humbug was a no-no. Shit was, well, it was shit. Crap. Feces. Defecation leavings. Potty pythons.

Now according to linguists the words that ‘offend’ used to change all the time, they become commonplace and no longer shock or alarm people, then they would take their place in the ‘ proper’ language. But no. We went and made them off-limits. And if there is one constant in the universe, it is that humans desire what is deigned them. If it is taboo or offensive, we gotta get us some of that.


Anyway, be warned: I will write what I want, where I want, and with whatever shade of blood I want write to in.

Current Residence: la-la land
deviantWEAR sizing preference: XL?
Favourite genre of music: The kind with sound
Favourite style of art: Traditional pen/pencil
Operating System: changes at random
MP3 player of choice: anything better than what i have
Shell of choice: The red ones. They home in so you don't have to aim.
Wallpaper of choice: I like tile walls.
Skin of choice: Uhh. Huh. Kinda racist here arn't we?
Favourite cartoon character: Alucard
Personal Quote: Remember: I use the actual meaning of a word, not what you may think it means.
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:iconlunareth:
Lunareth Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much for watching me! :heart:
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:iconbrutalityinc:
BrutalityInc Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
Thanks for the watch!
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:iconajaxtorbin:
ajaxtorbin Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
NP
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:icongraphicdream:
GraphicDream Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for faves :)
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:iconcementiet:
Cementiet Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav :)
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:iconflaketom:
flaketom Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012
Thanks a lot for the watch!
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:icongoneaviking:
GoneAViking Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2011
Phule? Phule you say? To this I simply must ask: Who more Phule-ish; the Phule, or the Phule who hangs w/ him?
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:iconimdrunkontea:
imDRUNKonTEA Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the :+devwatch:!
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:iconfractured-webcomic:
Fractured-Webcomic Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2010
Thanks for watching us.
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:icontillman54:
tillman54 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
thanks for the fave
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