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About Deviant Artist Premium Member ajaxtorbinUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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I am a warrior. A soldier.
I remember nothing else. I fought for my masters and then for theirs and then again.
I must fight again. But none will take me. None will have a warrior. Soldiers only will they take,

I need an enemy. I need a foe. I need a direction and care not form where it comes now.

Please, tell me who to fight. Tell me which enemies need slaying. I can't go on masterless like a robin from place to place, thought to thought.

I wanted to fight. I wanted to hurt and be hurt but I was not worthy. So I linger here with no one to fight, only the made up nemesis of my subconscious to wage war against.
I was denied. I was cast aside after so many lives of war.

Please let me fight? I need something to fight.


War has gotten the bad rep for many years. War? What is it good for?
Advancing the standard of man. Humankind. Whatever.
Not a single technology has been put forth that has not been derived from war. NOT ONE. The conflict is what humankind is created for; evolved for. Yet it is shunned. Looked down upon, IN the darkest days of 9/11 when soldiers were looked upon as saints even then it was a dark profession.  A way of the violent.

Well, I say to you that warrior is not made, it is not forged, it is born, Something says within us, 'fight' and we respond as is our means.
Many say, 'why?' I say, 'what against?"

I fight for my side because it is my side.  Need to fight because it is my side. But I can't. I am told that my side does not need me. That the nation that played host
to my fore fathers is 'not requiring of my services"

But I have no other nation to fight for. I have no  ideal of my own that can stand. I want freedom, yet freedom HAS to to be tested. And it is not. No contest to freedom means no real freedom. Ans so I make do. I am socialist. I want the easy road. I need to be relaxed, but I can't. Even when I am asleep I think of conflict. I call those who say they can help and get denied.

Why is conflict looked down as the worst of human feeling? Why? It is the core of many of us, it what lurks in the heart of most of us, yet it is frowned upon.

I NEED conflict, I need war and fight and battle. This modern era tries to provide a substitute yet is is lacking. It suffers from the need of people like myself. Ones who see through the lie of the TV warriors. Who attempt to drown themselves in their battles against everything from aliens to vampires.
  • Mood: Daily Needs



United States
Words. You can start wars with them, you can bring peace with them, make laughter or tears with them, or in my case, be really, really annoying. But that’s what I do, I annoy you about something to make you think on what you do.

If someone accidentally sticks their hand in a blender and turns it on, the first words out of my mouth will be, ‘nice move, retard’ in very sarcastic tone. I figure that you already know it hurts and you are not alright, so I don’t ask what everyone else does when they see an accident, ‘are you ok?’

But I digress. Words. They have meaning. There are, as I see it, two reasons to use a word; one is the exact meaning and the other is the feel or image it evokes when read or spoken aloud. Its like ‘red’ and ‘crimson’. Their meaning is basically the same but to most people who read, truly read the meaning of words they are quite different. So as you read these collected thoughts, warnings and ramblings, please Remember: I use the actual meaning of a word, not what you may think it means.

Also while it may not always be my intent to offend or debase, as a theoretically free human of earth and the United States I will offend when I so choose, whether with a gaseous expelling of offensive olfactory stimulus, or by using a taboo word, like shit. Or fuck. Or nigger. Yes that’s right the ‘N’ word. Gasp

Now if you’re reading this paragraph I know you not a moron, or you’re a racist. If you are a racist you minus well stop reading now because I’m not a fascist. I do not form lynch mobs, well, not for that reason. Now for those of you who are not morons you know that ‘nigger’ is a word. It is a series of sounds spoken in the English tongue, a sound that has acquired a stigmata. The same thing has happened to words like ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’. Thanks to our modern way of life and certain prohibitions against their use, ahem* FCC *ahem, they have become locked into the category of ‘bad word’ when normally they would have rotated out of use by now.

In the past the ‘bad word’ category held such modern stunners as; crap, damn, thigh, breast, and the scorcher, the end all to end alls, the permanently-banned-from-church-if-you-dare-utter-it-aloud word: humbug. Yes gentle-folk, humbug was a no-no. Shit was, well, it was shit. Crap. Feces. Defecation leavings. Potty pythons.

Now according to linguists the words that ‘offend’ used to change all the time, they become commonplace and no longer shock or alarm people, then they would take their place in the ‘ proper’ language. But no. We went and made them off-limits. And if there is one constant in the universe, it is that humans desire what is deigned them. If it is taboo or offensive, we gotta get us some of that.

Anyway, be warned: I will write what I want, where I want, and with whatever shade of blood I want write to in.

Current Residence: la-la land
deviantWEAR sizing preference: XL?
Favourite genre of music: The kind with sound
Favourite style of art: Traditional pen/pencil
Operating System: changes at random
MP3 player of choice: anything better than what i have
Shell of choice: The red ones. They home in so you don't have to aim.
Wallpaper of choice: I like tile walls.
Skin of choice: Uhh. Huh. Kinda racist here arn't we?
Favourite cartoon character: Alucard
Personal Quote: Remember: I use the actual meaning of a word, not what you may think it means.



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AbalamAnderson Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
May I ask for your opinion on my newest piece ?
I Am Trapped
I also sent you a Llama, fav'd some of your works and I became a watcher! Hehe :D
Wolf Uhh 
ajaxtorbin Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014
Truthfully; It is not realy my style.
Assholes for eyes, shading and layer upon layer of smoothing and blurring.
Trapped yes, but in what? jello? Plastic? Porcelain? From one shade and texture to another; feathering and smoothing poorly combined; it only strength is its attempt to provoke disgust or a counter-culture response in young idiots who think they are goth.

In the end it only provoked the lightheated who hind behind a veil of dark; those who think they are kin to the darkness bit realy only flirt.

(And that is why I don't critique)
Lunareth Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much for watching me! :heart:
BrutalityInc Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
Thanks for the watch!
ajaxtorbin Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
GraphicDream Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for faves :)
Cementiet Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav :)
flaketom Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012
Thanks a lot for the watch!
GoneAViking Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2011
Phule? Phule you say? To this I simply must ask: Who more Phule-ish; the Phule, or the Phule who hangs w/ him?
imDRUNKonTEA Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the :+devwatch:!
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